The Cookie

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Not Jason, Mike, Adam, Aaron, damn then who was it?

I was having a discussion with 2 women from work (Hey Old Wisdom!) about sex and female and male responses.  Both of them are always telling me to stop giving the cookie away and make men work for it. I’ve heard this plenty of times before. My great-grandmother, Nan (God rest her soul) called me one time in college and told me to make a man work for it, they’ll appreciate it more. Male friends joke about how easy women give it up and how they walk away like it’s nothing to it.

Why don’t we appreciate our cookie? Why do we allow men to come in and steal from the jar and then get mad when they give it back half eaten? Why don’t we let them wait and earn the right to have the cookie? Why don’t value our cookie?

Now, let’s be real, I love sex and if I had my way, I would have sex every day and with whomever I wanted. But I also know that there are times when I form an emotional attachment to the man that is getting my cookie. There I said it!! I get attached when I give the cookie away. Now, let’s get something straight, I don’t get attached to everyone. The ones that I do, there was always a budding interest there and once I gave a piece of myself away, the interest got deeper. And now that he has had the cookie, I’m like, so where do we go from here? The majority of the time, they are off to the next cookie jar and more than likely, their hands were already in there.

As a young African American woman, I notice that there is a lack of respect amongst our culture for our body. The media glorifies sex through music, videos, advertisements, etc. How many people have been on Facebook and seen groups dedicated to women with the biggest butts? Sad, I know. This is what we have allowed our culture to see us as….sex objects. We are nothing, but a body. A male friend of mines told me the first thing he notices on a woman is her butt and body, and then he looks at her face. Uh, what about her personality? Can she talk? Nah, that doesn’t matter. How do we teach our daughters that they don’t have to have sex with a boy in order for him to like you when they watch movies and hear songs where they fall in love after they’ve been sexual? How do we teach our sons that they can’t go around having sex with “every girl in the world”?

We have to accept that we are more than just a body and sex. We have WAY more to give. We need to start valuing ourselves more.  Make men wait to get the cookie. Let his true colors show. Trust me; your cookie is not going to get burned up by waiting. Steal your cookie back and let others know it’s yours .


1 thought on “The Cookie

  1. Girl!!!!!

    You’ve said it well and sum’d it up!!

    I took have been a ‘victim’ to giving up the cookie too soon. I too get emotionally attached and have to be the one to walk away stuck with my feelings..

    But one day it dawned on me that I am worth the wait and if a man can’t respect that, to hell w/him…I’ll count my losses and blessings!
    And I didn’t walk away feeling empty!!

    It is hard, but hell..use a vibrator! Lol

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